Unconscious Bias Writing Project

I learned a specific skill set from my mother that turned into a habitual way of thinking.  Whenever someone does something that bothers you, try to figure out why they may have done it and think the best of them. When I first told my mom that I’d been experimenting with alcohol use, her response was, “Well, at least you aren’t doing drugs.” This is a woman who believes alcohol is pure evil based on both health and religious grounds, yet instead of acting horrified and upset, she chooses to focus on areas in which she feels I am succeeding. This upbringing instilled in me from an early age the desire to think positively of people--friends and strangers-- and excuse any perceived negative behavior if there is any chance that there may be a reasonable, yet unknown, explanation.

I loved our class on unconscious bias because it reflected my beliefs on the subject.  The photograph exercise was a great demonstration of how one should never judge a book by it’s cover.  Unconscious bias involves drawing harsh or inaccurate conclusions based on absent or superficial data. Let me introduce you to my mentor.  He is a tall, skinny guy with snow-white hair and callused hands.  What does he do for a living?  He’s an airplane mechanic.  What does he do for fun?  He’s a ballet dancer.  What is his sexual orientation?  He is straight, and yes, that always surprises people. He is flamboyant, high-energy and he likes to dress nice.  There’s a colorful story here that you won’t find by looking at this man’s photograph.

I’ve experienced a sprinkling of biased treatment in my life, although not a fraction of what some people experience.  I’m thin, short and blond.  I get passed over for more athletic looking sports partners.  I get treated like my ideas are “cute” or “simplistic.”  Sometimes I feel like I have to study extra hard to prove a point.  I’m quiet, so people often talk over me and it’s easy to forget that I exist.  They often see me as awkward, uncomfortable or unfriendly.  I’ve been plied with drinks, because people feel certain that my silence is evidence of unease.  The truth is, I am a shy extrovert.  I don’t talk to people unless I have something to say.  When I have something to say, I’m not shy about saying it. I study hard because I love to learn and I don’t care if I’m smart or athletic.  In group situations I can enjoy comfortable silence, but I also like to be noticed and included once in a while.  Can you relate?

When I think of unconscious bias, I think back to how people have made me feel.  I think about the weird little things that make a person unique, and how we can’t see those things when we don’t take time to investigate them.  I think about how those are things I want people to see.  Then I think about how much time and energy it takes to know a person well enough to recognize and avoid their triggers.  Finally, I think about how unfavorable encounters create biases in the people who experience them.  I empathize.  Are you biased?  Were you triggered?  These aren’t easy questions to answer.

If bias is unconscious, how can we uncover it and avoid inflicting trauma on other people?  I believe the key is in examining the past.  How were you raised?  What made an impression on you?  What trauma did you experience? What are your triggers?  Here are some of mine:  Cabled cardigans, long denim skirts, mustaches, men who dress like cowboys, and skinny old women with “pinched” faces.  I know these are potential triggers for unconscious bias because I associate these things with a pedophilic couple I knew as a child.  No matter how innocent, I will always have an involuntary gut reaction when I see these things.  This is why I believe the key to discovering our unconscious bias is in reflecting on our life experiences. By taking this step, we protect others from developing biases of their own.