Samantha Jayne Frost
It’s strange sometimes how life is – like a chessboard. Life treats each of her patrons -- or victims (if one is a pessimist) – differently; she serves either sweet cocktails or bitter dregs. In the end, it isn’t the manner of dying as much as the path journeyed thereto. And what honest person can say “I have no regrets”? Therefore, since nobody can be perfect, one should do the best possible with life, disown regret and try to fill the needs of others when possible.
Dan and Nancy had marital problems. Business distracted them from focusing on their relationship and both wound up having affairs. They decided to go away for the summer to work on their marriage at a little rented cottage in northern California. How ironic, that on the way to their summer retreat they should pass “the motel on the highway” in which Dan had stayed three nights with “the other woman” (p 264, 263); almost like a time overlap. Ultimately this was not about getting back together; it was a search for pacification of guilt and possible compromise. Each was taking this trip to find out if the other could provide satisfaction for inner desires. Yes, compromise was an option, but only to a certain degree. In the end, it would be those moments they’d live for and remember; those particular fragments of time that managed to satisfy them both.
One’s only power over time lies in the ability to recall the past. And sometimes even recollections lie to us. “I just remembered”, said Dan, “that I’ve missed fishing” (p 265). Poor Dan hadn’t really missed fishing at all since he just remembered that it was several years since his last trip. What Dan really missed was fun and a good time. This was his need. Could Nancy bring satisfaction?
Nancy listened to the fisherman explain how fish get into the lagoons. “They come in here in the winter when the spit opens and then when it closes in the spring, they’re trapped.” She too, felt trapped. Somehow, though she couldn’t point out the exact moment when realization struck, she’d fallen asleep and woken to a harsher reality. She was not, to her husband, as much of a lover as she’d been in years past; he too could not bring satisfaction to her heart. She needed something different: a change.
Life is a singular occupation; much like fishing. “Pull out a little slack and watch your line” (p 265). It’s never good to fret about it, but watch out for the big one. In the end, Nancy decided that Dan could never fill the place of the “big one”. “I want to be alone” (p 266), she said. Being with Dan called for self-sacrifice and forgiveness; she could manage these, but she could never feign a love that had faded from her soul. Her needs were far different from Dan’s. She could not give him satisfaction and still feel at peace with herself.
Yet still, there were those moments after she’d made her decision to leave him. She took a bath and went to bed. Dan “went into the other bedroom and turned the covers back” (266). Then there came the beautiful white horses that grazed in the yard. Like a miracle, they brought Dan and Nancy out of self-pity and seclusion to join in excitement and joint-pleasure. The evening was splendid with a warm fire, music and dancing. They made love for reasons beyond the act and emotion; they needed. There was a deep desire to pacify guilt; to love the past. But in the morning everything was still the same shambles and Nancy did what she had to. She took a plane and left for California. Sometimes good intentions aren’t enough to satisfy a person’s deepest needs.
Dan went back to the house they’d just left. He “parked in the driveway and looked at the hoof-prints of the horses” (268). There were her words ringing loud and clear, “We’ll never see anything like this again” (267). Time and circumstance made her statement the truth. There were only memories left; good ones and bad ones, but it was easier for Dan to just let everything go. The end had finally come; the past was less than perfect. For Dan and Nancy, separation eased the pain between them and sufficed. Only they could choose whether or not to regret. Separation was the closest thing they could find to satisfaction of both their needs.
Quite different from, and yet highly similar to the story I just finished analyzing; A Story about Love is an example of romance that might have succeeded, if time, fate and circumstance hadn’t frowned on it. In several ways, the two stories are alike: All parties sought self-satisfaction and happiness by one means or another. All parties moved on with memories (though one forgot them in her grave) as mileage markers. Even though the two stories seem vastly different in plot, “A story about love” is the same problem faced by the characters in the first story.
Though Helen Loomis was 95 years old, she lived with guilt for having doubted and denied herself the love of the only man she ever cared for. On meeting Bill Forrester, she had to come to terms with her guilt, because Bill reminded her of that long-lost lover.
Bill Forrester was a thirty-one year old bachelor who held a good job as a newspaper columnist. He enjoyed getting to know Helen because she was enjoyable company and a promising source for his writing ventures. She was the type of woman who could have satisfied his needs for companionship, and he hers, if time hadn’t tricked them. In this story, Helen taught Bill never to deny himself something that he’d later regret not having.
In her old age, Helen longed for a bit of companionship. She talked of her formal, respected years in high-society as if it meant nothing now. “I sometimes think I could easily trade a verb tense or a curtsy for some company that would stay over for a thirty-year weekend” (249). She added, “I have been alone.” Time taught Helen the lesson that it would teach those people from the previous story. Loneliness waits for one who can’t satisfy the needs of another. In the end, will there be peace and fond memories, or a void? Certainly void awaits any person who pushes others away and isolates self.
This story, more than the other, demonstrates the power of memories. Helen recounted story after story of her travels to distant countries. She did this in such a way that Bill could imagine it all and figuratively “be with her” through all those lonely years. Instead of causing pain, he was the instrument of healing; and in so doing he learned many lessons and was inspired to rethink his lonely life.
This story might be the end; the epilogue, to the first story. Such thoughts are foolish, but still – one might imagine Nancy as the aged Helen. Still seeking the lover of long ago, and maybe she’s found him again - in Bill’s eyes. We all seek what brings peace. Death brings peace no doubt to the weary traveler, and to the rest – a need to move on. For Bill, this came about through remembering and savoring the past. He went back to the drugstore where he’d met Helen and ordered what he’d ordered on that fateful day. “A dish of lime-vanilla ice.” He would remember those happy days they’d had together – satisfying the need for company. He wouldn’t put life off, but he would live and find someone he could love and need.
An article review, although time has lost the original source.
