Funny Daycare Moments

The daycare teacher is moving away.

Child: Teacher, you know, if you move to my house, there's a ton of space. But my dishwasher isn't black. It's white.

3-year-old stranger: hi
My Child: what is your name?
Stranger: Alex
My Child: well why are you called that word?
Stranger: my mom just says my name is Alex. Alex Thompson.

My Child: hey! You wanna see my ugly room?

Child during circle time: "Alright!!! Teacher. You're going to move in one day!!!" ::holds up finger::

Child: Everyone! Watch me as I pull this peanut butter sandwich out of my hat! ::charismatic voice of a great magician::
Child: ::frantic wild flailing:: "for mankind!!!!!" ::more frantic wild flailing::

Child asked every other child to be captain of the ship. ::dramatic wailing:: "but teacher I want someone to be the captain." ::crying escalates wildly::


Child: "Teacher, you all better? You not sick anymore?"
Me: "yeah!"
Child: "You took a long nap and you wake up and you not sick anymore?"

"This is special medicine for choking." ::child viciously jabs eye dropper in stuffed animals mouth::

Child:
"And on his farm he had a dog. E I e I o. And on his farm he had a dog... e I e I o..." ::repeat, repeat, repeat:: "e I e I o, e I e I o, e I e I o, and bingo was his name o."

Child A: "You ran over my feet!"
Child B: "No, we didn't. We were just driving by that leaf."
Child: "Teacher, do you think Mary's tough yet?"

Child A: :: running the trike in circles with an old tablecloth hanging on the handle behind him. ::
Child B: "Hey!" A dozen times.
Child A finally says, "Just a minute! I gotta carry this elephant!"

Beetle on the floor.

Child: "He's a kid guys! He might be hurt... He looks like a beast!" 

Child: "We got to use a planet orange." :: Kids use plastic orange to try to pick up beetle::

Child: "I'm so fast - Like a beast!"

Child: "We're not going to cut him. He's our pet."

The beetle died.

Child: "See! Now he's turning into a butterfly. I mean a cricket! My mommy told me on facebook all about beetles... how they turn into grasshoppers."

Shouting, emphatic child: "No. I don't wanna play with your shoe!"

Daycare child: "I have a big mom!"
Me: "Really?"
Daycare child: "Yeah!"
Me: "Okay. Don't tell her that."