Online Vs In Person

Positive Advantages of Meeting Online

No Body Language Barriers - You won't blush or stammer. It's easier to be honest.

Long Distance Doesn't Matter - You can talk to anyone, anywhere. It's great for initiating new friendships. You're not limited to people in your area. You can meet all sorts of people disguised under little phrase names like "blooper84".

Easier to Experiment - On the internet experimenting is easy. If you choose to initiate a chat with someone, it shows you're interested in furthering the friendship. There's no awkward delivery of flowers, asking for coffee dates, etc. People can get to know each other without relational hazards. When two people sit in a coffee shop they both have opportunity to wonder if it's a date or a meeting or just a friendly hang out. This can lead to awkwardness in conversation. Online, the questions still come up, but it's easier to address them without all the static of body language. It's sort of like confessing to a priest in a confessional. When you're trying to talk about sensitive subjects, it's easier to do so when not having to look at the person.

Easier to Open Up - Online is great for shy people. Everyone knows this. I met this one girl named Kandace. She seemed very distracted, giddy, and quiet. I couldn't read her at all. Later I started chatting with her online and that is when I really met her. She's outgoing and vivacious when speaking through a filter.

Activities - Friendships can intensify online. People can spend hours chatting. They can play games together. There are games that can be played online together in which you help each other out and practice team work. If there's romantic interest, there's always super cool graphics that can be left on a myspace comment. People can send pictures to each other and, as the relationship progresses, they may try voice chat or Webcam. You can take your friends with you everywhere. Not only can you text them on your cell phone, but they can contact you online and you can have the messages rerouted to your cell phone. You can stay in touch anywhere.

Integrating - Integrating is possible online. There are people who I've known since I was 12 or 13 years old, some of which I have never met in person, who I consider long standing friends. I have chatted and done online activities with them for SO long that it's like we've known each other our whole lives. We've learned to work around the lack of body language by choosing our words carefully and asking questions instead of jumping to conclusions. I say the word "we". I am integrated with these people. We've grown up together - on the internet.

Bonding - It is possible to meet the "one" over the internet. My great uncle did. Mind you, he met her and dated her before he married her. Sometimes people integrate and then choose to enter a long distance relationship. If the relationship is romantic, obviously the people have to meet at some point for the relationship to go anywhere. I'm not sure if it's possible to become best friends online or not? The term defines a mental choice to feel a certain way about someone. So I suppose it is possible, though I do not know if it reflects wisdom.

Accessibility - The internet is a great social play ground for people who have trouble getting out and meeting people. It's awesome for the lonely, insecure, and rejected to practice communicating and being socially competent.

Control - The internet is great because you can control what others get to know and see about you. The cat doesn't get out of the bag unless you let it out, or some other online friend does, which is becoming an increased hazard.

Imagination - The internet is good for the imagination. You can imagine what you want to be and become that. You can say, "I'm smart, funny and handsome", while believing that is the truth. You don't have to worry about someone seeing you and thinking, "he looks stupid, boring and ugly." The other person also enjoys the advantage of being able to imagine you are smart funny and handsome. These are ego boosters. The person may discover, to their surprise, they are smart funny and handsome, they just needed someone to believe in them.


Positive Advantages of Meeting in Person

Body Language - It is much easier to communicate when you can see how the person reacts to your words. You can say, "we should take our relationship to the next level", and the other person can see whether you are serious or being silly. You can see how they feel about your proposal (if you're serious). If they say, "Yeah, that's be fantastic," you don't have to worry that they might be joking or not understanding you right. You can see their face.

Not Long Distance - It's always easier to get close and stay close when you see each other regularly and hang out. It's more satisfying than interacting long distance and more socially stimulating.

Experimenting - It's easier to be personal in person. You can send flowers, send a text and invite them to a basketball game or to the park for a picnic. You can say things like, "You're pretty fun to hang out with, we should do this again, soon!"

Safer for serious talks - It's really good to meet people in person to talk about serious stuff, and way safer. No worries about them getting the wrong idea.

Bonding - It's way easier to become intimately involved in person than online. Intimacy implies closeness, and physical proximity is key in romantic relationships.

Fun - Meeting in person is fun. It feels more real-time. Instead of feeling like you're talking to someone in another dimension, you get to overlap your lives and really exist together.

Safer physically - It's good to have "in person" friends because they can prove themselves trustworthy to you. Then they may introduce you to people they think you'll like or be compatible with. It's better than just randomly meeting people who could be psychopaths.

Observing - Sometimes in person is nice because you can observe someone from a distance before introducing yourself or getting involved. By watching their behavior you can sometimes find out things about them. Are they interesting to you? Are they shocking and disgusting? Are they in the center of everything or do they sit quietly at the side?

Touch - Meeting in person is great because you can physically reach out to each other. Whether that be a hand shake, a hug or a pat on the back. It also makes showing emotion easier. You can put an arm around someone who's been hurt or is sad. You can show them you care better in person than on the internet.

attraction - You can really tell if you're attracted to someone. Physically but also socially. A person might seem cool online, but what are they like in person? Do they have an irritating voice? You won't know until you meet them.


Which way is better?

I believe both ways are good in moderation. For example, I would think it imbalanced, in our era, for a person to communicate ONLY in person. Likewise I would be concerned for someone who never got out (especially if they were physically capable of doing so) of the house and spent all their time online.

Like any friendship, online or in person, one has to determine if the reward is worth the output. Even in an online setting, people still need to practice honesty and try to be themselves as well as they can. It's immature to tell someone that you're 5'9" with beautiful, fiery red hair when you're not, especially if you ever plan on meeting them. Unless you're playing an online game called Role Playing. Then it's okay. But if you're just making up stuff about yourself, it might be fun for you to pretend your someone else, but the other person might not like it so much.

Overall, I prefer meeting people in person. I may interact with them online, but there's nothing like really meeting and getting to know another human being. The dynamics are amazing, instead of feeling simulated. If a person can confidently go out and meet and greet without others running away fast, I think this shows emotional maturity and ego stability. Anyone who achieves this state will feel way better as a person and be happier. I know this from personal experience because I changed from being an introvert to being an extrovert.