Last night I had the same dream that's been a recurring theme in my nightmares for the past few years. I have a fairly short memory but apparently my subconscious does not.
In the dream I was at this place where all these church people were gathering to have some sort of worship service. I dressed just right and went to sit by my father. I was following all the rules and still didn't fit in because they all looked at me with pity in their eyes and kept away from me. They greeted me kindly but it was easy to see they looked down on me. Even the ones who wanted to befriend me stayed away because they were afraid they would get in trouble with their parents.
Then there was this girl who started talking smack about the whole thing. I ran over to her and told her to be quiet because opening your mouth around these people never helps the situation. It didn't make any difference. They all still kept just out of sight whispering and we were all sitting in the snow. It was cold. We were quiet and being quite respectful, but the berm of snow we sat on was melting off and behind it dropped away. We weren't welcome in to the group so we made do.
Some of them started trying to sing a song but they couldn't remember the words and they kept singing out of tune. So this guy offered to play his guitar to help out. I got out my guitar and joined him. He played a different kind of guitar from normal. It had strings but underneath them it had all sorts of extra pipes and things that he would just touch and they would add a rich background to the song. I was scared the church people would out him because he played too beautifully, but since I was already out, I played along because there was nobody left to impress except God.
After that I went back to where I was staying. Some of the church people's kids would talk to me over the internet a little bit. But they still kept it short and sweet and constantly feared they would get caught.
So then I woke up feeling relieved that I no longer had to associate with those people. Even in a dream.
