Christmas Wreath Goes to the E.R.

I've been feeling a bit venturous lately.  Last week I made a manikin out of duct tape, pillow stuffing and an old curtain rod.  This week I used an old wire coat hanger (standard size) to make a holiday wreath for the front door out of excess Christmas ornaments.  It turned out beautiful - way better than I'd expected.

It hung in the laundry room for quite a while because we didn't have a way to fix it to the front door.  Yesterday we finally decided to go the hardware store and do something about it.  My hubby says, "We'll just grab one of those suction cup things."

I get a very bad feeling at this point.  "I don't think a suction cup is a good idea because if it should fall, these ornaments will be ruined.  They weren't exactly cheap."

"Oh shush!  You're always worrying.  Trust me, it'll be fine."

We get to the hardware store and he picks out a big sturdy looking suction cup thing.  In fact it has two suction cups.  It can support up to twenty pounds.  "I don't know about this..."  I grumble.

"Shush! I know what I'm doing."

We get home and he rips open the packaging and goes to fix it to the door.  I grumble, "maybe we should clean the glass first."

"Hush!"

He fixes the suction cups to the glass and hangs the wreath.  It appears to hold.  We go back inside and he goes to take a shower.  I sit down at my computer and browse the internet for about ten minutes, all the while feeling that the wreath will fall.

::Ominous Crash::

"Honey, the wreath fell."

"What makes you think that?"

"I heard it fall."

"No, it couldn't have fallen.  It must have been something else."

"Okay, I'll go look."

I go to the front door and open it.  The wreath is lying on the ground.  It is nearly bent in half.  Ornaments are scattered all around and some have rolled down the driveway to the street.  One suction cup is still stuck to the door, but the other is several feet away as if it actually exploded off the door and took a massive leap.

I returned and said, "I'm just going to leave it there so you can see it.  It's a train wreck all over the yard."

My hubby went out and looked.  I suppose this is the point where I could have said, "I told you so."

I didn't say anything.  Inside I was halfway stuck between laughter and tears.  I didn't care enough to cry though and I didn't dare laugh.  Not yet.

"I don't understand why it fell!"  He examined the evidence.  I got a trash bag and we gathered up the bones of the deceased.

At first I was rather devastated by the number of decapitated Christmas ornaments, but then we discovered that most were not fractured and it was possible to pop the tops back onto the ornaments.  So I busied myself doing that and he straightened and reformed the wire for the wreath.

We remade the wreath.  It didn't look too bad when we finished, although we were both covered in a ridiculous amount of glitter and some of the bulbs had some bare spots.  No one but us will be able to tell that the wreath suffered a bad accident and went to the emergency room.

My hubby reassembled the suction cups and I thought, oh dear, here we go again.  "I figured out why they fell."  He announced.  "Both of the suction cups were hanging off a glass beveled edge.  So air got in and ruined the suction."

He stood at the door for a bit fiddling with them.  "Also, this glass is much dirtier than I had previously thought."