Today's been weird.
I feel like I'm looking out at my life but I can't find the courage to interact with it. I know there's stuff that I should be doing, there's stuff I want to be doing, but I don't know where to start. Anxiety is the likely reason. Medication interactions mess with the body's hormones and lead to unpleasant emotions. I don't feel overly tearful, but I do feel reflective and creative. When creative energy refuses to direct itself toward carrying out responsibilities, does that count as laziness? Maybe it does. I'm not sure.
I've already packed up almost half the house. That being my personal creative space. So I'm feeling a lot of different emotions about that. I need to downsize my book collection. I should go through and get rid of stuff I don't ever plan to use. I've definitely hoarded too much stuff. I need more boxes.
I'm also tempted to blame my lethargy on my recent vaccination. It's probably not a viable excuse, but... ::shrug::
Truthfully, I feel that a large amount of this is due to the anxiety. When the house is in shambles, I get really anxious about it and freeze up. This has happened to me before, back when my honey tried to do me a favor and rearrange my office. I was trying so hard to be nice about how I reacted, but the arrangement didn't suite me and caused massive anxiety attacks. I just don't handle change all that well.
I'm thrilled to move to the new house. The process of getting there isn't that enjoyable. I want the moving part to just get over with.
